Its crazy to think that in a little more than 4 months I’m going to be partially responsible for another persons COMPLETE well being. I say partially because I’ve confirmed with Beth, on multiple occasions, that she will be helping out. It feels strange to say -and maybe others had the same experience- that when I was first told that our attempts to create life had not been in vein, it made no great impact on my nerves like I imagined it might. There was no vibrating thud inside my body. No jolt to my system. It was a powerful moment for sure, but not quite the shock I guess I was expecting to feel.
I was laying back on the couch in our living room staring up at the ceiling thinking about all the moments I could piece together from the beautiful wedding we just had, and very much looking forward to the honeymoon we were about to leave for – when I noticed Beth standing at my feet, just staring at me with the slight air of panic about her. Assuming this was caused by some last minute realization that a small but important travel related detail had slipped through the cracks, I didn’t even notice she was holding a pregnancy test in her hand. I just lay there looking up at her waiting for her to say something, as she stare back at me, waiting for me to say something. I was slow on the uptake so she helped me with a big “Ummm” and a slight nod toward the test she was holding in her hands(See picture above for results). I lay a little frozen for a second before got up and wrapped my arms around her. It was during this prolonged moment I definitely noticed that the hugs were only flowing in one direction. Beth, her face wavering back and forth between panic and elation was apparently using too much energy trying to process her emotions to move her arms in the customary return embrace. After a what seemed like a long time without saying anything and just giggling at each other I felt compelled to confirm with her that this was the end result in which we had definitely been trying for. After a laugh, and some tears of joy it was as if we switched to auto pilot and Beth went back downstairs to confirm the results (for a forth time I found out later) and I lay back down on the couch, my head literally buzzing. I didn’t know what the protocol was after the initial moment of discovery had passed. I guess at that point I didn’t care. I’m pretty sure I just sat there with a dumb grin on my face before realizing I was holding airline tickets for Ireland in one hand, and the positive pregnancy test Beth had apparently handed me in the other. My first coherent thought I can recall, “Does this mean we have to cancel the wine tours in Spain?”